coalition
by basterd
Summary: collaborations between losercandy and myself. [contains fem au]
1. on the landing

[AN: so i guess i'm uploading these. for kirby (losercandy). we did fem collaborations? this is her dialogue and me scribbling in god knows what around it.]

* * *

'You don't have to love me right now.'

Her voice doesn't even catch. She's standing out on the landing in Vyvyan's shirt with goosebumps down her bare legs, holding on to her own elbows to keep herself steady. She wasn't even in Vyvyan's bed last night. Vyvyan needs her space, Rick knows that. She's got grades to worry about, she's got a future to contend for. But Rick can smell her on the shirt and it keeps her awake at night, wondering if anyone's hands would feel the same or if it's just Vyvyan's. Wondering if Vyvyan means half the things she says when she's heavy and drowsy with her mouth moist on Rick's shoulder. When she's got Rick on her tiptoes, slammed against the wall, and Rick can feel the tightening of the tendons in her hands and she says she still likes Rick. She still likes her. Rick likes her too.

'I'm just asking if you ever could.'

'Rick, how am I supposed to—'

'Or, at least,' Rick puts her hands out to stop Vyvyan, who slows to a halt in the bathroom doorway some meters away, 'if you think you ever could.'

Vyvyan puts her arm up against the doorframe, body slouched to the side. She's never had to try. She's never even cared about the way she looks. Rick doesn't want to be her but she wants her, she wants her all the time. Just to be there, or to know she's going to be there. She wants Vyvyan to look for her across a crowded room and when she finds her, she wants Vyvyan to see her. Really see her.

'Why are you asking?' Vyvyan asks, not a sigh, not defensive, just weary. She treats it like a game she's played too many times. She always does. 'What happens when I answer?'

Rick tugs the hem of the shirt down. Vyvyan doesn't watch her hands, stares at her face, instead. 'Well… I guess that depends on how you answer.'

'What does this change, for you?'

'I just,' Rick rubs at her brow and then stops herself, standing straight. 'I want to know if I'm doing something worthwhile, or if this is…'

'What?'

'Frivolous.' Rick stumbles over the word. Vyvyan's eyes narrow and she frowns, shaking her head. It looks odd, the combination of fresh tri-hawk and sleep singlet. It's the hawk that gives her the power. Vyvyan doesn't think she's herself without it, told Rick the last time she'd lain with messy waves on the couch with Rick to watch a video. Touched her fingers down Rick's leg and it was soft, it was so soft. Rick doesn't want her to be right.

'God, you take yourself so seriously.'

'Tell me.'

It's not pleading, it's a demand. It's Rick exerting the power that Vyvyan granted her by proxy.

'I don't know, Rick.' Vyvyan shrugs and Rick hates that. Hates that she knows Vyvyan did it on purpose. 'I guess I could. Maybe I might. I haven't thought too hard about it.' Her hands make all the right motions. They don't falter for a second. It's too smooth, it's not right.

'Why not?'

'I try not to agonize over things the way you do.'

'I don't—'

'You do.' Vyvyan rolls her eyes. 'And it's incredibly grating.'

'Fine.' It's not worth it, feeling this way for something that should have been simple. That other people wouldn't have had a problem with, but Vyvyan. God forbid Vyvyan be vulnerable for once in her life. 'Sorry I asked. I'll go. I don't want to cause you any more _discomfort.'_

'I didn't say you had to go, did I?'

It pulls Rick back, like it always does. The current of Vyvyan's voice. Her own stupid hope.

'I don't really think we're done talking about this, Rick.'

'So why don't you think about it, then? Are you scared of it or something? Are you scared of me? Scared of caring? God, don't be such a fucking cliché, Vyvyan. Grow up, okay?'

Rick's knees shake. Anger or fright or cold. Vyvyan leans into the frame for a moment, hiding her face in her hand. When she speaks, it's aimed down at her feet.

'You're pestering me like you want to know if I have some sort of school yard crush on you, and I'm the one that needs to grow up?' She glances over, then away. 'Rick, I'm not fucking afraid of anything except you nagging me to death! Did it ever occur to you that these things take fucking _time _and how the hell am I supposed to know what's going to happen? I'm…' Her hands come up, frozen, waiting, and then fall. Unrehearsed. Something real, something tangible that Rick can grasp on to.

Her eyes come up to Rick's face and she looks so angry, angry like she did when her mother called and she wouldn't tell Rick what she said but she kissed and kissed into the night and told Rick she was beautiful and Rick didn't know if that was what she actually meant or not so she said nothing. She kissed back and it set a precedent. She doesn't know what to do with Vyvyan's anger, now.

'I like you, Rick. I care about you. I'm _fond of you, okay? _But god, how long have we been together? How quickly can you expect someone to fall in love? Things don't just happen instantly, Rick. So maybe…'

Vyvyan's breath cuts off and she holds it for a long time. Long enough for Rick's eyes to trail over the curve of her sides and gather in enough of Vyvyan's words to sort out some context.

'Maybe?' she prompts, because Vyvyan is waiting for it. Because Vyvyan's stubbornness would have her waiting all day.

'Maybe we both need to grow up.'

It's not what she meant to say, or maybe it is. Maybe Rick is projecting onto her. Maybe it's just Vyvyan's classic escape tool making a break for freedom. Rick knows she needs to grow up. She knows she's going to. She wants to know if she's going to be alone for it.

'Vyvyan, I don't see what is so difficult about this question. I am not asking you to love me right now. I am not asking you _when _you think you will love me. I'm asking if you think you could even love me at all.'

'I think,' Vyvyan breathes out slowly, giving Rick the most sincere expression she knows how, 'I definitely have the capacity to love you, Rick.'

She waits and Rick waits because it's never over when they think it is, it's never final, it's never tangible, it's just words in the air. It's not anything until Vyvyan makes it something. Until Vyvyan says she's in it because Rick has been in it from the very start. Walked home at a steady pace with the sickly taste of a boy's mouth on hers and put her arms around Vyvyan's chest and said she was in it. Or didn't say, but she'd meant to. She would have.

Vyvyan softens. Her arm comes down to her side and her head tilts.

'But, I'm not making any promises.'


	2. rooftop activity

[AN: and then this is my weird dialogue with kirby (losercandy)'s craftsmanship around it. dang, man.]

* * *

'Are you okay?'

Vyvyan drums her fingers on the edge of the roof. She pulls the cigarette out of her mouth and taps the ash into the gutter. She should have known Neil would find her out here. Neil probably would have been on the roof wether she was there or not.

'I'm stupid.' She says, into a cloud of smoke. Her legs dangle into the air, boots kicking and breaking nothing, for once. Filling space that doesn't mind being filled.

Neil steps forward, sitting down beside Vyvyan, tucking her legs under herself rather than letting them dangle off the side. A consideration for Vyvyan, no doubt. She tries to believe that Neil's roof activities are as innocent as she says they are, but she doesn't have any evidence.

'I don't think so. Like, logically, with your field of profession and everything—'

Vyvyan sighs and rolls her shoulders forward, leaning more of herself out towards nothing. Her arms hang limply in the air, between her legs.

'About Rick, Neil. I'm stupid about Rick.' She says, resting her chin on her knee. Neil's hand hovers towards Vyvyan's shoulder, like she'll pull her back, but it never connects.

'How do you mean?' Neil asks, settling her hand back down before Vyvyan notices.

'God, it doesn't matter. Forget it.' Vyvyan sighs, flinging herself back to lay on the roof. She takes the last good drag off her cigarette, then stubs it out on her padlock. She lets the agitation settle into her shoulders. She moves with it, settling. Glaring at the sky with an expression that would make you think it was the source of all her problems. Trust Rick to make her act this stupid.

Neil curls her knees up and hugs her arms around them, settling her chin on top of them. She stares up for a long moment, and Vyvyan watches her. Why is she talking to Neil about this, of all people? Neil doesn't understand this, and why would she? But she wants to and that's the part that kicks through Vyvyan's mind and sets off something bitter. Neil doesn't mean anything by it, but Vyvyan feels a rising urge to kick her.

'You know there are probably about five hundred million planets in the Milky Way Galaxy alone, and yet every star and every planet together doesn't even add up to half a per cent of the universe.'

'That's great. Why don't you go and write it on the back of a toilet stall.' Vyvyan spits. She feels her leg kick up instinctively. Neil, always going on about something fucking irrelevant. Vyvyan is starting to think Neil is completely removed from reality.

'And here's us. Sitting together.' Neil says, putting her hand on Vyvyan's shoulder. 'Looking at the ghost of stars.'

'Neil.' Vyvyan shrugs away from her.

'So you're stupid for Rick.' Neil shrugs. 'What's the problem?'

Vyvyan feels the tension in her shoulders unlock and release her. It starts to fall away, but exasperation is moving in, building walls around her.

'She's too different. She loves things, really loves them with this passion that I can't fathom.' Vyvyan says, covering her eyes with her arm. 'I've really tried to understand where it comes from but I just can't see it. I want to be someone she likes but to be honest, most of the time I can't stand her. She's… she infuriates me.' Vyvyan slams her arms down by her sides. She blinks up and stares for a moment. 'Do you mean the sky isn't now?'

'The sky is. The stars aren't.' Neil says, pondering towards them. Picking out two or three and wondering if they knew each other. 'Vyv, if Rick was in an accident and became a paraplegic, what would you do?'

'Laugh.' Vyvyan chokes out with amusement, like just the thought is enough.

'But really.' Neil restates, tearing her eyes away from the sky to examine Vyvyan. 'When she got let out of the hospital, what would you do?'

'Carry her.' Vyvyan says. She wonders over it for a split second. It's true but she regrets it. How can she sort that out? Her eyebrows raise in suspicion. 'What do you mean? I'd find her a wheelchair or something. Why? You rigging something?' Vyvyan asks, propping herself up on her forearms.

'You're going to push her wheelchair? What about when she goes in to uni?'

'Well someone else can do it then, can't they?' Vyv says, agitation gritted into her voice. 'Unless I'm there, then I'll do it, I suppose.' She settles onto her back again. Neil's words are still pulling at a loose thread in her mind. She wants to shove all the other loose threads away. Neil is good at finding them. 'So it's the past, then. That, up there.' Vyvyan says, pointing up at the sky.

Neil lays down beside Vyvyan so she can see exactly what she's seeing.

'Maybe. Maybe we're the past. There could be life looking at us millennia into the future, seeing the end of this planet.'

Vyvyan's lip curls a bit, in pity and agitation at it.

'It's no wonder you're up all night if this is what you think about.'

'I don't all the time.' Neil crosses her arms over her chest. 'So you can't stand Rick but you're going to take care of her.'

'Only if she's a paraplegic.' Vyvyan clarifies, hands searching pockets for another cigarette.

'Just tell her. What's the worst that could happen.'

Vyvyan holds her zippo to the cigarette and inhales.

'The worst thing?' She says, plucking it from her mouth. 'She'll think I like her.'


End file.
